Special feelings that's so annoying

D, what happen with this feelings? Feels like i feel something but i can't let it out. i have a bad feelings.
Some people said its just a feelings. But they didn't know what happen to all the feelings i have felt before.
Like before my mom passed away, I have a bad feelings too
2 days b4 she's passed away, I told someone that i dun want to loose my dad
Every night i went to their room, just to see if they're still breathing
2 days without sleeping,
and at the day my mom passed away, i slept like at 9.
No one knows that
When my dad tried  to call my CP, i couldn't wake up, cz i was jst sleeping
From that moment i got trauma for like a month, Scared to sleep.
Then with my prev relationship, 
before he left me, I keep asking if he.. and if he..
Many times i had a dream that he have another girl,
A week before he left me i had a dream that he said "I can't do this anymore"
Bang.. all my dreams come true.
Some people said when i dream about something, its just a dream
but they didn't know if my dream most of the times becoming true
Even with my bf now, I was dreaming that suddenly he's gone.
MSN off for a long time, gone without a word
Then yesterday he said he have to work at my friday,
That means we're not gonna meet till my sat
 what will happen if he didn't told me that
Then my dreams will become true
Glad i told him before it happens >_> 
It's hard to walk with having a special feelings like this
I hope nothing's gonna happen with all people that i love
My huney, my dad, my sist, my family, my friend, to everyone who loves me
I do hope everyone will be alright 
amin...

He always spoiled me

aaahhh.. Was talking to him.. And i just told him if there's 1 thing that i like to be with him.. is he spoiled me all the time .. I can be my self for real.. when mad, sad, happy, he accept it and keep giving  me a hug >3>
And he was telling me if i let him buy me something.. 
but ummm.. he dun have to 
Cz all that i want is jst him to come here.. and i dun need stuff >3>
but if he want to buy things for him self then go on.. i jst asked 1 save some to come here >3>

Freedom Loving

This girl is laid back
Easygoing with people
Too much intensity tires her out
She believe that  there is a lot to still be discovered in this world
She dun like to be under rules when she wants to do something
But then she will missing some rules when she's feeling lonely
But she love who she is,
She realize lot of people cant be honest with their self
She dun get it why people love to lie even to their self
She understand some people might not understand it
But she wont get tired of showing who she's really are
No matter what happens, she have the ability to stay well grounded in her life
And People know that they can truly depend on her. 

un explained feelings

gosh d..
I dun know how 2 explain this 
happy n fear all in my heart o.o
I'm happy cz he made me happy
I'm scared of loosing him o.o
ummm
Miss him so muuucccchhhh
been 3 days not talking to him, but when he come back omg... i feel relieved..
he made me falling in love again o.o a lot. way lot o.o
He have a crazy schedule...
We might not talking again for ummm 2 or 3 days o.o
But u know, well i'm trying to work with all this feeling instead of against me
I dun want to fight just because we didnt talk for 3 days cz its all for his job
I can respect it cz he respect my feelings with telling me everything,
So i dun think if i have to be negative about him
Actually love is kinda freaky for me XD
but my heart always have or get what my heart wants lolz
I can't help it even stop it x.x
waiting and waiting.. I always can do that xD
Im sure i can do it again now >3>
He knows everything about me..
Way much more than everyone knows lolz
aaaaahhhh love him >3>