If you are one of this, Then you are not my friends

"It's all about me" type of friends.
They always talk about themselves. Also, they could care a less about you... your day, how you're feeling, etc. You may also notice that they brag a lot. Whether it be about themselves, materialistic possessions, boyfriend, getting married, or a vacation, they always find something to make them sound better than you. Seems to always have an opinion about everything. An opinion is a person's ideas and thoughts towards something. It is an assessment, judgment or evaluation of something. An egocentric person has no theory of mind, cannot "put himself in other people's shoes," and believes everyone sees what he sees (or that what he sees in some way exceeds what others see. It appears that this is shown mostly in younger children. They are unable to separate their own beliefs, thoughts and ideas from others.

Clingy. 
Can't share you with other people. When they do see you with other people, they're jealous because they want you all to themselves. 

Never acknowledges your ethnicity/culture. 
Considers you something else, and think it's alright to insult you heritage by using derogatory slang words around you knowing it offends you. Doesn't accept you for you for all that you are. 

Spies. 
These people are not your true friends. They are like assets and they maybe working for someone else to find about you. They may do this because they are jealous, if they want to teach you a lesson or if they want to get close to your boyfriend or brother. They are not really interested in you. You might notice that these people always need to know everything. They often try to overhear conversations between you and other people. They often lie. They may lie their name, age etc from you. Be careful from them.

Friendship vs. Love

Friendship is a quiet walk in the park with the one you trust.
Love is when you feel like you are the only two around.

Friendship is when they gaze into your eyes and you know they care.
Love is when they gaze into your eyes and it warms your heart.

Friendship is being close even when you are far apart.
Love is when you can still feel their hand on your heart
when they are not near.

Friendship is hoping that they experience the very best.
Love is when you bring them the very best.

Friendship occupies your mind.
Love occupies your soul.

Friendship is knowing that you will always try to be there
when in need.
Love is when you will give up everything to be at their side.

Friendship is a warm smile in the winter.
Love is a warming touch that sends a pulse through your heart.

Love is a beautiful smile to which nothing compares:
A tender laugh, which opens your heart,
A single touch that melts away your fears,
A smell that reminds you of the tenderness of heaven,
A voice that reminds you of the innocence of youth.

Friendship can survive without love.
Love cannot live without friendship.

friend sigh

It's so hard to walk with knowing that someone you love didn't feel the same way
Still he didn't understand why i was hiding something
What if someone you love not even have a special place for you to stay?
It is hard to keep the tears inside..
It is hard when you know he/she doesnt have the same path as you are
A friend who give you a choice about your life, Is it a friend?
A friend who told you that she/he understand but then told them to get away from you, is it a friend?
A friend said to you
"I know that you love him/her so much"
Then she/he said to your love one
"Hey, maybe you need to break up with her/him"
Is it a friend? 
Then you said about that those people just trying to protect and sad to know that I'm no longer her friend
Who she's trying to protect? 
You
Why?
Cz you are her friend, "brother"
Then who am I? Does she even try to make a friend with me?
Yes!
With what? saying I understand but back there said "Leave her!"
Is that a friend?
Does she really want to protect you or just want you not to give anyone else a special place in your heart, but just for her? 
Do I have a problem with my REAL friend here?
Hell No!
When my friend have a girlfriend, Then no longer talk to me as much as he can
Cz he want to take care of his GF feelings
Should I say..
"Hey, don't give my place to her. I'm your friend who will always be there whenever you need me"
true friend already know that before they asked for it.
Me? don't have a strong connection with my friend?
Cz when i tried to kill my self i don't think about them?
They understand that you are the one that can stop me.
They know that you have a special place in my heart, and they didn't complain about that
They know whenever i need em, I'll come back to them.
They know finally my life will end up with someone that i love
They know their position, Cz they will did the same thing...
They will make a happy family, with who? Someone that they LOVE 
Thats why they know if someone that i love have a special place in my heart
But seems like someone that i love didn't understand that.
Wait, have someone special in your heart as your lover doesnt mean that you have to get rid of the place of your friend.
I didn't say that.
Yes, I do want a serious relationship.
When i said serious, its serious.
but then back again, those things become the topic
About what have i done, that make him like this
Even I already told him about why why and why..
That's why I dont want to talk to someone who will just poisoning me with what they want
Well If what they want is really comes from their heart,
Without meaning taking all your happiness, thats fine.
But it will be a problem when what they said is the opposite from their act. 
Someone that read this may be understand what i mean.
Another writing is about why love have a special place in my heart,.. 

Save me

Don't let me feel down again..
i don't know what they said so he think i meant it to..
Why can't he see me?
How can he think i didn't see him?
He didn't see why, and why now...
I'm just a trapped for him
Be strong?? 
Again????
After i tried to stand from what happen with me before?
I can't stand for twice..
Ill close the door, It will never open again for anyone else
Will never again....
What should I do? What do I have to do?
Even people i don't know think that we're not together again..
And he said he love me but didn't in love.
I know.. i know its all my fault....
My fault to keep thing inside...
But it didn't mean that i talked about my past all the time,
Just when it comes..
When i thought She who knows him, understand what I feel..
She was so positive about me and him..
She gave all the support, 
But suddenly she tear it all apart,
I asked y didnt she do it from the start?
Just to protect.. She feels like im going to hurt him.
What she did before? Why she didn't do it from the start?
How can? she said she knows that I love him.. and i just still feel hurt..
But now? she gave him a choices.. She admit that, finally..
I dont even ever asked him to get away from all his friends
Why? Cz i know how close he is with them.. 
What? Why do i have to thinking about their feelings still? Why do i still care?
Wonder why my real friend in facebook give me support to stand still?
They are real, They've been with me all the time
At work i talk to them, So they must be know everything. T_T 
I might should be gone forever from everything...
I change my words a lot? 
all can be seen here.. when i feel like a bird with no path..
Even when i think about my past... Even when im so positive about us..
But guess is all no use anymore..
He's feelings has gone.. not even trust but love too..
Why do i have to cry for hours and hours again?
My fault again, telling them about what i feel...
Why you think im crying? not love? Why I want to kill my self? depressed. y? not love?
Even people i have never talked to before
Knows If something goin on, And asked me if Im ok? 
Cz ive been online and offline a lot
god, this is hurt.... so  badly hurt T_T
Save me before **************************** T_T

Scared

Leave me if you want it
Delete me
Blocked me
forget about me
geez.. 
I'm sick of love..
I don't want it.. But what if you want it?
What can I do? I should take the fall
cz knowing him is so beautiful 
god make me strong please..
Don't let these tears falling from my eyes
Make me strong with what i'll hear when he get online
I don't want to cry please...
I'm so scared..
Someone please stop these tears.. T_T
Hug me when im scared T_T 

Afraid

Ya tuhan.. gmn aku bs melalui smua ini?T_T
Itu cewe bener-bener di luar dugaan.
Waktu aku tanya, kenapa dia memberikan support ke aku untuk melupakan mantan?
Dia bilang, berbagai macam alasan,
Dia tau aku sayang cowo aku
dia tau aku hanya sakit hati, kesel dll 
Dia tau kita saling cinta.
Tapi kemudian, dia bilang dia ga mau cowo aku sakit hati T_T
Aku tanya "kalo dari awal kamu nggak percaya sama aku untuk jadi cewenya, Kenapa omongan kamu manis sekali?"
dia bilang "siapa yang bilang nggak percaya?"
Aku bilang "feelings like you want to protect someone is when you feel that someone is in danger"
dia nggak bisa bilang apa2..
Kecuali dia bilang kalo aku terlalu serius dalam sgala hal. aku gila. aku perlu menata diriku sendiri.
Dia yang bilang kalo cowo aku ngerasa happy even if i bug him a lot..
tapi sekarang.. dia bilang aku too much.
Dia bahkan yang bilang kalo lil ngejelek2in dia
Padahal lil sendiri nggak pernah ngomongin dia
Sumpah.. Jujur.. aku takut sekarang T_T

Percaya dengan apa yang kamu mau

Lagi...
hampir saja aku kehilangan lagi orang yang ku sayang
kenapa?
karena aku bodoh...
iya aku yang bodoh..
tidak seharusnya aku merahasiakan sesuatu darinya
Seharusnya aku yang mengatakan dan bukan dia yang mendengar dari orang lain,
seharusnya aku percaya sama diriku sendiri
Seharusnya aku percaya sama orang yang aku sayang
Tapi, aku malah mempercayakan orang lain untuk mendengar cerita aku.
Sahabatku benar,
mereka yang mendengar cerita aku, tapi tidak mengenal aku, akan menceritakan dengan versi mereka sendiri..
Aku salah telah menaruh kepercayaan lebih kepada orang lain
Tapi bukan kepada dia.
-sigh-
Aku tidak tahu apa yang akan terjadi
Kalau aku sampai kehilangan dia
karena aku sangat sayang dia
Aku tidak akan lagi mengatakan apapun atau bahkan menaruh kepercayaan kepada siapapun
mengenai hubungan aku kecuali hanya kepada dia,
Hanya dia yang mengerti aku
Dan dengan bodohnya
Aku tidak mempercayai dia,
dan terus takut dalam ketakutan ku sendiri.
Tapi, tetap aku berterima kasih kepada mereka
Karena mereka sudah mau mendengarkan cerita ku

Namun aku mengakui bahwa..
aku lemah dan bodoh..
Satu yang aku tahu dengan pasti adalah aku sayang dia
Siapapun bisa mengatakan bahwa aku tidak mencintai dia,
Tapi aku percaya bahwa dia melihat dengan hatinya, Bahwa hanya dialah yang aku cinta.
Segala hal yang seharusnya terkubur, terbuka kembali.
Namun semua yang dia dengar bukan dari diriku sendiri, Bukan dari orang yang mengenal aku
Satu yang pasti, bahwa mereka tidak akan pernah bisa merubah perasaan ku
Perasaan sayang ku padanya,
atau bahkan sampai menentukan apa yang harus ku pilih.
Sahabatku tahu, berulang kali aku jatuh kepada orang yang salah, 
Tapi mereka tidak pernah mengatakan padaku untuk menjauhinya, mengakhiri hubungan
Mereka tetap mendengarkan cerita aku
Mereka tetap memeluk aku pada saat aku bersedih
dan mereka tidak meninggalkan aku saat aku berdiri di jalan yang salah
Itulah arti persahabatan.
Sekarang aku harus lebih terbuka kepadanya,
menyingkirkan segala ketakutan ku untuk mengatakan sesuatu
Dia adalah masa depan ku
Dia bukan masa lalu
Apa yang aku jalani sekarang, adalah masa depan
Jika dulu, dengan mengatakan segalanya aku salah
Tidak untuk kali ini,
Dia orang yang berbeda.
Dia seseorang yang aku cinta