I'm sorry

Dear huney, 

I'm sorry for 2day hun
I'm sorry if what i said makes you think 
that i don't love you
or i still love him
It's not like that
It's not like i've been thinking about him all the time
more than when i'm thinking about you
I just can't forgive
I can't forgive him, i can't forgive my self
All the questions keep spinning in my head
why, why, why,

I know that it will bring me nowhere
Just gonna waste my time more and more
i do have to learn to forgive my self 1st

I didn't mean to hurt you
I know why i keep thinking about it
It's all because i'm scared
I'm scared of loosing someone that i love
someone that i care of 
scared of loosing you 
I'm scared if the dreams that i've build gonna be broken again
This is why i'm scared of answering 
when they asked me about us
Once i open my mouth,
I'll tell the dreams that i have
All the plan that we made
but then there's a thing comes in my mind
What if all the things that i've said will never become true again?
It will hurt me, ill feel down again
lost all motivation...

I know that u've been saying that u will manytimes
and it doesnt mean that i didn't trust you
Everytime i heard those words
U make me smile
It's just all the fear will gone when u come here

Please 4give me cz i didn't mean anything