Live For Now And Tomorrow

Jul 3, 2011

Percaya dengan apa yang kamu mau



Lagi...
hampir saja aku kehilangan lagi orang yang ku sayang
kenapa?
karena aku bodoh...
iya aku yang bodoh..
tidak seharusnya aku merahasiakan sesuatu darinya
Seharusnya aku yang mengatakan dan bukan dia yang mendengar dari orang lain,
seharusnya aku percaya sama diriku sendiri
Seharusnya aku percaya sama orang yang aku sayang
Tapi, aku malah mempercayakan orang lain untuk mendengar cerita aku.
Sahabatku benar,
mereka yang mendengar cerita aku, tapi tidak mengenal aku, akan menceritakan dengan versi mereka sendiri..
Aku salah telah menaruh kepercayaan lebih kepada orang lain
Tapi bukan kepada dia.
-sigh-
Aku tidak tahu apa yang akan terjadi
Kalau aku sampai kehilangan dia
karena aku sangat sayang dia
Aku tidak akan lagi mengatakan apapun atau bahkan menaruh kepercayaan kepada siapapun
mengenai hubungan aku kecuali hanya kepada dia,
Hanya dia yang mengerti aku
Dan dengan bodohnya
Aku tidak mempercayai dia,
dan terus takut dalam ketakutan ku sendiri.
Tapi, tetap aku berterima kasih kepada mereka
Karena mereka sudah mau mendengarkan cerita ku

Namun aku mengakui bahwa..
aku lemah dan bodoh..
Satu yang aku tahu dengan pasti adalah aku sayang dia
Siapapun bisa mengatakan bahwa aku tidak mencintai dia,
Tapi aku percaya bahwa dia melihat dengan hatinya, Bahwa hanya dialah yang aku cinta.
Segala hal yang seharusnya terkubur, terbuka kembali.
Namun semua yang dia dengar bukan dari diriku sendiri, Bukan dari orang yang mengenal aku
Satu yang pasti, bahwa mereka tidak akan pernah bisa merubah perasaan ku
Perasaan sayang ku padanya,
atau bahkan sampai menentukan apa yang harus ku pilih.
Sahabatku tahu, berulang kali aku jatuh kepada orang yang salah, 
Tapi mereka tidak pernah mengatakan padaku untuk menjauhinya, mengakhiri hubungan
Mereka tetap mendengarkan cerita aku
Mereka tetap memeluk aku pada saat aku bersedih
dan mereka tidak meninggalkan aku saat aku berdiri di jalan yang salah
Itulah arti persahabatan.
Sekarang aku harus lebih terbuka kepadanya,
menyingkirkan segala ketakutan ku untuk mengatakan sesuatu
Dia adalah masa depan ku
Dia bukan masa lalu
Apa yang aku jalani sekarang, adalah masa depan
Jika dulu, dengan mengatakan segalanya aku salah
Tidak untuk kali ini,
Dia orang yang berbeda.
Dia seseorang yang aku cinta

13 comments:

Prastika Putri said...

awwww, So sweet, Are you talking about me? -pretend to not know-
Dear trust in your self, I know you can do it ^_^ And sorry to yelled at you, Cause I know you, We know you. What do i tell you. Don't talk to stranger muahahahaha :P
You should believe your love one rather than believe in someone else. And.. If you want to know about him, Ask him straight, I can see that he can understand what your going to say, Don't have to be afraid if he's going to leave you because of your honesty. Tell him just like what you say in a diary. I know you are a big thinkerrrrr.. but sometimes it brings a negative thinking for you :P. Now every time that thing comes to you think about other good thing.And yea i agree if you say he isn't like anyone else. I can see that :) Or you can talk to anyone, but choose for someone you can talk to :P You put too much trust in someone you just know. Don't worry dear, I can see how he loves you too :) I can see that you back, become who you really are, Dita who easy to forgive and i don't want to see you feeling down again. See, your love ones stay still, He didn't listen to what other say he should do. He believe in him self. He believe in you, In your relationship. Smile cause you have to work tomorrow . Don't show that sad face at work xD. You look ugly when you show it you know :P

Dhita Artya said...

Lolz who do i think i wrote about here? And it's fine 2 yelled at me when i need 2 be. Thx 4 everything.

Prastika Putri said...

wow, what a short reply :P come on, look, he's with you still. I know you still thinking about it, take it as a lesson. I know you regret of what you have done. I know you, you don't have to say it but i know. Come on, you always be my spirit, you teach me to stand still, you teach me how to face everything and now I'm here to give the spirit that you need. Just like what you've give to me. That's what friend are for :)

Dhita Artya said...

hahaha, what a surprised that i can be other spirit but i can't do the same to my self >.< geez, yea u rite.. Im still thinking about it.

Prastika Putri said...

muahahaha, do you know people said a doctor can't even cured them self ^_^ and stop taking all the blame just to your self. You know, you both fight for your relation. You have to put away your fears, with what he have done even i don't know him well, but just hearing from your story, i believe that he wont leave you. All he want is to share everything. He have to learn how to hear you without making you stop to saying things before you finished. You both need to work on those things. Don't worry, I wont tell that you are right while you are wrong. Remember my words, i can see that he have the love that u need and again he deserve to have the love that you have. You have to let someone go if they just makes your relationship worse. If he decided to leave someone that will make you relationship better, take it. He do it for you. He's happy if you are happy. Don't think that he's not.

Dhita Artya said...

hmmm.. Yes I'm happy cz he made decision on how to make things better. But in other side I'm thinking if he really happy doing it.

And ummm.. its my fault, cz i didnt tell him about things that i should say. and trusting others a lot to hear me |E. so stupid -_-"

Prastika Putri said...

Well, i can't say that he's happy or not. But look, he has made that decision, he must be thinking about it first. Stop saying that you are stupid. No you are not. This is just a miss-communication, about how others react to what your story. I believe that you are not laying, because I know you can't :P but you can keep things inside, which will make you stressed out. Now you have someone who give you his hand, who give you his time, his attention. Learn to be more open to him. He'll appreciated it. trust me :) if you are jealous, say it so you both can find the way out. Don't keep things alone. When he hear it from someone else, of course he will think that you are laying. Even I know you didn't meant to. Be more open so this kind of things won't happen again. :)

Dhita Artya said...

>.< I know.. thanks >.< I understand if he think that i've been laying. But i'm not >.<

Prastika Putri said...

hahaha i know you're not. You just hid something inside. You let it out but just a half. That will bring a miss-communication. Now showed him that you love him, just like what you've told to me :) That past is past, I trust you because you say it. I trust you because you wont do things if that not comes from your heart and i trust you because you do it. Oh my god, you think how long we've become a friend XD

Dhita Artya said...

umm.. yea ill do my best. I do can't say many things to him. But with an act >.<...

Prastika Putri said...

That's my friend :) so don't make your love ones getting worried again. Don't make US worried :) you know he even sent a message to erika XD. She asked me what happen but no, i didn't say anything XD. did she called you? because i told her to call you if she wanted to know :P

Dhita Artya said...

lol yea. she called me... >.<
but i didn't tell her anything, I think i have to choose who i can share with now. Someone who can understand
someone who really become someone who didn't stand for anyone.

Prastika Putri said...

Damn, If i'm there I will not letting you doing do such a thing again. But yea, I know you wont listen when you are in that position, but you will listen to your huney bunny sweety XD. You know you are that someone. That's why i like to asked you a thing. You not just saying that I'm wrong but also you gave me spirit that i need, you never said get over it or leave it, but you made me think that there will always a way out without ended things ^_^. Remember you said, you want to take me when damian take you to his place and have a house that near each other XD make sure you pay all the ticket muahahaha :P and before that, lets go to KOREAAAAAAAAAA.