friend sigh

It's so hard to walk with knowing that someone you love didn't feel the same way
Still he didn't understand why i was hiding something
What if someone you love not even have a special place for you to stay?
It is hard to keep the tears inside..
It is hard when you know he/she doesnt have the same path as you are
A friend who give you a choice about your life, Is it a friend?
A friend who told you that she/he understand but then told them to get away from you, is it a friend?
A friend said to you
"I know that you love him/her so much"
Then she/he said to your love one
"Hey, maybe you need to break up with her/him"
Is it a friend? 
Then you said about that those people just trying to protect and sad to know that I'm no longer her friend
Who she's trying to protect? 
You
Why?
Cz you are her friend, "brother"
Then who am I? Does she even try to make a friend with me?
Yes!
With what? saying I understand but back there said "Leave her!"
Is that a friend?
Does she really want to protect you or just want you not to give anyone else a special place in your heart, but just for her? 
Do I have a problem with my REAL friend here?
Hell No!
When my friend have a girlfriend, Then no longer talk to me as much as he can
Cz he want to take care of his GF feelings
Should I say..
"Hey, don't give my place to her. I'm your friend who will always be there whenever you need me"
true friend already know that before they asked for it.
Me? don't have a strong connection with my friend?
Cz when i tried to kill my self i don't think about them?
They understand that you are the one that can stop me.
They know that you have a special place in my heart, and they didn't complain about that
They know whenever i need em, I'll come back to them.
They know finally my life will end up with someone that i love
They know their position, Cz they will did the same thing...
They will make a happy family, with who? Someone that they LOVE 
Thats why they know if someone that i love have a special place in my heart
But seems like someone that i love didn't understand that.
Wait, have someone special in your heart as your lover doesnt mean that you have to get rid of the place of your friend.
I didn't say that.
Yes, I do want a serious relationship.
When i said serious, its serious.
but then back again, those things become the topic
About what have i done, that make him like this
Even I already told him about why why and why..
That's why I dont want to talk to someone who will just poisoning me with what they want
Well If what they want is really comes from their heart,
Without meaning taking all your happiness, thats fine.
But it will be a problem when what they said is the opposite from their act. 
Someone that read this may be understand what i mean.
Another writing is about why love have a special place in my heart,..